I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
