Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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