y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
