last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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