so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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