Where is the hickey?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
