pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
