If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
