This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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