I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
