Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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