Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
