My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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