Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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