dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
