can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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