Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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