Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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