I want to walk on stilts...naked
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
