check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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