i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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