I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
