Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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