using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
