You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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