Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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