as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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