I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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