If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
