AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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