So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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