Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
