Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
