There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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