member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
