all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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