I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
