Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish you could order shots online.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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