We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
