Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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