just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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