I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
