I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
