He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
