So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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