i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
