Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
