Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
