why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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