is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
