A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
