I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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