Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
