I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
