ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
