This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
