Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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