she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
